FACTS
Suicide in the LGBTQ+ community
Almost half of Dutch lesbian, gay and bisexual adults (LHB) have ever had suicidal thoughts. This is more than five times higher than in the general population.
Eight per cent of LHB adults have ever attempted suicide. This is four to five times higher than the number of attempts in the general population.
Trans people have an even harder time. They are seven to ten times more likely to attempt suicide compared to non-trans persons.
Source: 113 suicide prevention
Synopsis
The heart gripping Documentary Their own life portrays three persons who survived a period of serious longing for suicide. Kris van der Veen was bullied in high school so intensely in his Christian community in the far north of the Netherlands, that he tried to take his life with pills when he was only 14 years old. Transgender woman Solange Dekker experienced no understanding of her narrow-minded family members and jumpedof a high bridge twice. And Jean Passos heard from his Brazilian family he as possessed by the devil after coming out as gay.
The number of suicides in the LGBTQ-community is five times higher than in the other part of the society. A shocking result of being not excepted, bullied, or even thrown out of your family completely.
This documentary is an initiative of Henk Burger who now already has experienced 25 suicides among his friends. Documentary maker Tim Dekkers follows Kris, Solange, and Jean in their actual support of others who struggle with loneliness, insecurities, depression and death wishes. Solange became a super model, winning even as first European transgender woman the prestigious Miss International Queen title of 2023. Kris managed to become a politician in de town council of Amsterdam, focusing on the ones who need attention the most. Jean developed a special Acrobatic Mental Health Workshop to give people more confidence.
Halfway the period of making this documentary, the shocking news came to Tim and Henk that Jean, despite his positive feelings, hanged himself in his studio. Suddenly his death became an unexpected part of the story, that will leave no viewer unmoved. How to go further with the knowledge that you can never really read one’s mind completely?
Their own life is not only a taboo breaking film, but it also most and for all is a heart-breaking cry for change. The rates of suicide among LGBTQ+ needs to go down.
KRIS
Tender KRIS (43) grew up in Harkema, in the far north of the Netherlands. The rigid, taciturn climate, bound by strict rules, was downright stifling and his self-esteem correspondingly nil. A fragile, silent eccentric, he was harassed at school on a regular basis and scolded for sissy, girl, faggot and gay. Kris wrote at the age of 15, stripped of all lust for life: 'If only I were dead'. He goes back to that school and to the gymnasium, where the weekly torture took place . He tells how, in sheer desperation, he locked himself in a toilet cubicle for hours one morning.
JEAN
Muscular acrobat JEAN (41), Brazilian Dutchman. He was very close to having 2019 written on his tombstone as the final year. It was not he himself who initially had a final death wish, but his very best bosom friend and ex-lover Ebsen. This Dane, also an acrobat, saw no life for himself at 50, with a body that would deteriorate irrevocably. Under absolute secrecy, he informed his friend Jean of his unwavering plan to stop living. Jean was confromted with Esben's death wish and knew he would not be able to change his mind. The announced death was meticulously planned in the diary. Jean had to prepare for an end date, which crept closer every day. It earned himself burnout and even a death wish of his own.
SOLANGE
Tall SOLANGE (31) stood atop the same high bridge of a Brabant river twice, only to abruptly end her unbearably heavy life. She survived the leap into the water both times. As a trans woman, she belongs to the group that makes the most suicide attempts within the LGBTQI community. She too did not escape the agonising feelings of hopelessness and bitterness, with a family full of misunderstanding and plenty of disapproval about her identity. She experienced the horrific exclusion and additional doses of discrimination she faced daily as a form of condemnation. Misunderstood, unloved, hated and reviled, she went through a hopeless valley for years.
HENK
The initiative for this documentary came from HENK (60), screenwriter, who himself endured bouts of depression twice.
At 3.07 pm on 7 September 2017, Henk unsuspectingly witnessed a live suicide attempt on Facebook. A friend suddenly announced in a self-posted message that he would "no longer be on this planet" if his friends read it. He was fed up with life, he wrote. A feeling of 'not mattering, not being seen'. In a separate group of friends on Messenger that followed, everyone called to him 'not do it' . Friends had immediately gone to his house, where police forced his door. While they had to wait outside, he was being resuscitated inside. The minutes ticked away agonisingly slowly. For forty minutes, the anguished silence lasted online. Until the message from one of the friends was posted: ...He is dead.